emily stoddard furrow

"Because when they’re not done, the songs, they’re like little nuclear reactors that are..."

Thu, 24 May 2012 11:41:25 -0400

““Because when they’re not done, the songs, they’re like little nuclear reactors that are throbbing in your suitcase. And you’re like, ‘When’s that thing gonna go off? Is it just gonna die out? Is it just gonna poison the groundwater? What is that thing doing in there?’””

- Birth Of An Album: In The Studio With Neko Case : NPR

"I think “mountains” or “homes” are specific to what you need at that time in your life. For a long..."

Tue, 22 May 2012 16:07:57 -0400

“I think “mountains” or “homes” are specific to what you need at that time in your life. For a long time, I truly did think you could count on a place to make you happy. Like, when I moved to New York City, I was young and so affected by it that I thought it was alive. Now I see that just like people — there is not one person or place that you can get everything you want from. It’s all about compromise.”

- The Lit Pub • Something About Being True to Yourself: An Interview with Chloe Caldwell

Been thinking so much lately about this tension (I hate the word compromise) that it hurts.
This book is going on the wish list.

Leon Gersing: Permission granted

Tue, 22 May 2012 12:22:55 -0400

Leon Gersing: Permission granted:

We are obsessed with our own histories. That is a waste of time. What good is planning how you want your story to be told if you’re not out living enough of a life to merit telling?

I needed this post today.

via @mattsonlyattack

"It’s illogical that this century’s wealth creators are going to be content with last..."

Mon, 21 May 2012 12:45:12 -0400

“It’s illogical that this century’s wealth creators are going to be content with last century’s philanthropic forms.”

- PHILANTHROPY 2173: A hybrid foundation

When I came across this post over the weekend, I had a resounding “Yes!” reaction. This is a critical conversation for social change, not only because of changing philanthropist interests and a changing economy, but also because of the leadership evolution that must happen. There has been talk about a leadership gap for quite some time, but if things don’t change in fundamental and structural ways (see YNPN’s report for starters), a leadership exodus is far more likely than a gap. It’s time for transformation, not simply transition.

"Good stories are strange. What strong scientific theories, even those crafted in pop form, have in..."

Mon, 21 May 2012 11:16:45 -0400

“Good stories are strange. What strong scientific theories, even those crafted in pop form, have in common with good stories is not some specious universality. It’s that they make claims so astonishing that they seem instantly very different from all the other stories we’ve ever heard. Good stories are startling.”

- Can Science Explain Why We Tell Stories? : The New Yorker

the importance of being shitty

Fri, 18 May 2012 11:59:28 -0400

I’ve recently shifted my focus on some commitments and freed up more energy for my own projects. Which essentially means I began staring down a lot of ideas with my best “Ok—let’s go!” attitude. And nothing happened. And I grew disappointed, because despite all my zen-like intentions, I am still wired for productivity at the end of the day. If I didn’t have a few new poems or a new business strategy or a new something at the end of the day, what was I doing?

Carl finally concluded: “You haven’t been shitty at anything in awhile.”

I was surprised to realize how true that is. I’m the last person to want to be an expert. The idea of an “expert,” for me, suggests a level of mastery and experience and assuredness that I just don’t think exists these days. Expert is a point-in-time achievement… as long as the world continues to change (and it does), you should change with it. Better to be a perpetual student.

But I started to see how pervasive expertise can be. Much of our lives, especially as entrepreneurial types, is spent tuning our strengths and adapting ourselves (and our companies) to create or connect to opportunities. At a certain point, you’ve seen enough scenarios to work from a set of patterns… if x happens, then we can do y. If x-type customer crosses our path again, then we will offer y sooner. In some ways, this is as it should be. This is natural evolution and efficiency that comes from learning and being self-aware.

But in other ways, this process can create a comfort zone that throttles creative thinking. You grow more strategic but not necessarily more creative. Ideas and energy are filtered through the scenarios. Creative instinct gets doused in so-called “experience.” Or in my situation, the ideas and energy are expected to produce something, or produce outputs of a caliber similar to previous ones, within the same amount of energy and efficiency. And when they don’t? Creative paralysis.

In short, we forget how to be shitty.

Shitty looks a lot more like flailing than it does, say, brainstorming. (Isn’t it funny that even brainstorming sounds so logical and productive these days?) Shitty is your brain’s Fight Club. It’s where your idealism beats up your realism and vice versa. It’s messy, and you feel like you haven’t trained well enough to land a punch, and you are ashamed that you have to fight so much at all… because shouldn’t you know more than this? At least enough to skip the awkward phase, where your ideas must learn how to walk?

And I guess that’s the point: No, you shouldn’t know enough. Because if you did, you would only envision what works, and you’d stop imagining what’s possible.

So I’ve been trying to be open to that. Giving myself permission is the most important part.

In terms of tangible practices, one thing I’ve started to do is write down my questions, not just my ideas. What we wonder about is a path to what we might imagine or create. These can be bizarre questions (e.g., does anything naturally occurring travel only in a straight line?), but when you’re someone like me who likes to make lots of things in lots of ways, there are many ways they might get answered — through a poem, through an app, through a new service, etc.

What do you do to get comfy with the shitty phase of creativity?

dreaming: harper lee, truman capote, ernest hemingway

Thu, 17 May 2012 21:46:43 -0400

Last night I had a dream that Harper Lee was in love with Ernest Hemingway, but he was not reciprocating. Harper Lee was losing it to Truman Capote over the situation… and Truman Capote appeared as a woman in the dream. Most odd was that he was fumbling with an armful of arrows. And I remember thinking how upset Ernest Hemingway was going to be when he discovered Truman Capote being so careless with his arrows.

I never dream about writers. I admit some envy of the writers who do get regular visits from other writers. (Kelli Russell Agodon comes to mind… I’d love a whole blog devoted to collecting dream encounters with writers! Imagine the bizarre wisdom we could uncover.)

So it was a nice change to see writers in my dream, although none of them were talking to me. None of them had anything profound to say in general. But it was nice to be in the company of writers, at least in sleep. (And the idea of Harper Lee falling for Ernest Hemingway was especially funny once I woke up.)

poetry news and giveaway winners

Wed, 16 May 2012 18:01:00 -0400

Well, National Poetry Month rocked — I did a few readings, participated in the first Grand Rapids’ Poets Conference, met some new poets, and was invited to share some of my work on WYCE’s Electric Poetry (will post the link when it’s archived online). Big steps for a poet who spent the last six or seven years writing mostly in secret. And in all the hubbub, I forgot to announce winners for the poetry giveaway! Eep! Sorry for the delay, and many thanks to all who entered. Here are the winners at long last, and I will also email you for more details:

Stephen S. Mills — winner of Diane Wakoski’s Emerald Ice
Molly Spencer — winner of Lucille Clifton’s quilting

And in other fun poetry news, I found out that two of my poems have been accepted to be published in the next issue of Big Scream, which is published by David Cope. It is only the third time that some of my work will show up in print out in the wild, and it gives me another vote of confidence to keep pressing on. Although I admit that I have returned to some of my pre-Poetry Month hermit tendencies, but you know, small steps.

"The Vatican’s assessment, issued on Wednesday, said that members of the group, the Leadership..."

Fri, 20 Apr 2012 15:19:35 -0400

“The Vatican’s assessment, issued on Wednesday, said that members of the group, the Leadership Conference of Women Religious, had challenged church teaching on homosexuality and the male-only priesthood, and promoted “radical feminist themes incompatible with the Catholic faith.” The sisters were also reprimanded for making public statements that “disagree with or challenge the bishops, who are the church’s authentic teachers of faith and morals.” During the debate over the health care overhaul in 2010, American bishops came out in opposition to the health plan, but dozens of sisters, many of whom belong to the Leadership Conference, signed a statement supporting it — support that provided crucial cover for the Obama administration in the battle over health care.”

- Vatican Reprimands U.S. Nuns Group - NYTimes.com

I am so angered by this story… I continue to be shocked at the Catholic Church’s view of women, but most especially the outrageous ways it tries to strip nuns of their voices and make them even less of an equal partner in faith. The idea that a team of bishops will now march in to “reform” this nuns’ group is beyond offensive.

This type of action can only come from power dynamics. It does not reflect the compassion or commitment to social justice that I expect from my faith. And it exemplifies some of the core reasons I left the Church but still count nuns as some of my favorite heros.

"If you’re a square peg in a round hole, get out of the damn hole. Go find a square one. They’re out..."

Mon, 16 Apr 2012 10:18:36 -0400

“If you’re a square peg in a round hole, get out of the damn hole. Go find a square one. They’re out there. Part of learning who you are is learning the environment you need to be at your best… Some of us are lucky enough to, as the saying goes, bloom where we’re planted. Many of us are not. We often grow up with a sense of being defective, of something’s wrong with us, so we need to chop and trim ourselves and twist our selves inside out to fit our surrounding reality. This rarely turns out well. Better to search out the reality – or, if necessary, to bring it into being – that fits you.”

- creative badass epic post: how to figure out your purpose/passion/just what the hell it is you want | Justine Musk

Love this post, especially the notion of a “soul home” (which the quote above refers to).
It’s an idea I could wrap my arms around and hold onto for a long time.
An idea I’ve sensed but that’s even better with a name.

"I think what’s evolved is coming to see that drawing from my own experiences is enough. That that..."

Fri, 13 Apr 2012 13:10:40 -0400

“I think what’s evolved is coming to see that drawing from my own experiences is enough. That that may be more powerful than what I could do if I gave myself five years to research the perfect answer. There’s a perfectionist part of me that feels like, Well don’t I have to master that subject, and don’t I have to read whatever everybody else said about that before I can talk about it? I think what has evolved is really getting the lesson that what is most powerful for people is story, truth and the nitty gritty of sharing our real experiences. That has showed up for me again and again.”

- Tara Sophia Mohr, in an interview on The Goddess Diaries

poetry book giveaway (kicking off national poetry month!)

Sat, 31 Mar 2012 17:53:44 -0400

Tomorrow marks the start of National Poetry Month! One of the ways I’m taking action this year is through Kelli Russell Agodon’s Big Poetry Giveaway.

This is a great way to get to know poet-bloggers while circulating poetry books. Each blogger selects two books to give away. Visitors (like you) have the month of April to comment on the giveaway post (like this one) and enter. In early May, I’ll select two commenters at random to receive the books. I’ll contact you for your mailing address and send you a bit of poetic happiness on me. (If you want more details, Kelli has it all spelled out — and her blog is worth a visit anyway!)

I don’t have my own book of poetry to share yet, so I’ve chosen two of my favorite poets. They are both lady-poets, because my poetry tastes are admittedly a bit of a girls’ club. It’s something I’m working on (I’m looking at you, Donald Hall. But the truth is you got in via Jane, so…).

Lucille Clifton
quilting

Oh how I love Lucille Clifton. I have cluttered the pages of quilting with Post-Its and penciled notes and underlines and stars. (If you win, you will get a fresh copy to devour in the same way.) I love these poems because they deal in identity, in the practice of naming, the role of language as a kind of witness to truth and history, and the power that plays in all of those things.

Some of my favorites in this book involve a retelling/consideration of the creation myth. Adam is vulnerable in Clifton’s poems, and Eve has an inner life that Clifton doesn’t define but instead opens up, into a subtle exposure of the deeper story (a kind of witnessing in and of itself).

As an undergrad, I lucked out and was dissecting quilting in one class and Paradise Lost in another. The two layer together in interesting ways. If you cross the way Milton positions Eve seeing her reflection for the first time with Clifton’s “sleeping beauty”, for instance, you can discover great texture to Eve and her process of “waking up.” I’m a nerd and find this kind of dialogue between texts fascinating. So, if you win quilting and are equally intrigued by myths relating to Eve and the creation story, consider reading parts of it alongside Paradise Lost! Poetry Month bonus points!

Diane Wakoski
Emerald Ice

Diane was my poetry professor at Michigan State, and I read her work when I want a reminder of how deep imagery can propel poetry.

I have lots of admiration for Diane, in part because she takes poetry seriously, and I’m one of those people who feels like no one is ever taking things seriously enough. Not in a stuffy way… more in a “there’s no such thing as high expectations”/”always ready for a challenge” way. I felt a bit isolated in that regard until I met Diane, the professor who would confront you directly about why your work was buckling with cliches or why you got lazy with your metaphor half-way through the poem (guilty).

Her poetry has that same edge to it. It’s a drive — a precision of language and a self-possession charging through the voice of her poems. I love that. It’s something I haven’t mastered in my own voice yet, so I tend to read her work more from a place of observing craft than I do for straightforward enjoyment. Your mileage may vary of course — I’m not necessarily suggesting that Diane is a “poet’s poet.”

Ready to win?
If you are interested in winning either of these books, just leave a comment below by April 30, 2012! Be sure to include your name and an email address where I can reach you if win. Thanks for playing along, and happy National Poetry Month!

"If u don't feel it check out quantum physics"

Thu, 29 Mar 2012 18:39:21 -0400

I’ve been thinking about oneness even more than usual lately, so this sidewalk art was a happy surprise as I walked up to Martha’s Vineyard tonight. I especially love the encouragement to check out quantum physics acting like a qualifier: “Hey, this isn’t all warm fuzzies/group hug/sing around a campfire oneness — this stuff is for real!” (And that is totally how I feel, too.)

"I think it’s very healthy to spend time alone. You need to know how to be alone and not be defined..."

Tue, 20 Mar 2012 12:38:56 -0400

“I think it’s very healthy to spend time alone. You need to know how to be alone and not be defined by another person.”

- Oscar Wilde (via outcamethesun)

I love this thought, even though I’m still working on the “not be defined by another person” part (for me it would be better reworded as “not be approved of by another person”). It also reminds me that in a matter of months I’ll get some time alone in the Oscar Wilde room of the Sylvia Beach Hotel, as part of the Poets on the Coast retreat. Oh how I can’t wait.

the making of an ekphrastic poem

Sun, 18 Mar 2012 17:15:00 -0400

I’m excited to share that I’m one of 10 poets who will read as part of Poetry on Demand at the Grand Rapids Art Museum on April 6. I’m participating in part because I didn’t take enough time to talk myself out of it — I’ve wanted a challenge to put myself out there more with my poetry, and this opportunity fits in many ways.

The event itself is unique and more intimate than a typical poetry reading. Each poet will write a new poem that engages with a piece in the GRAM’s new Rauschenberg exhibit (hence an ekphrastic poem, for those who don’t know, is a poem that responds to art). At the event, the poet will stand near the piece they chose, and attendees will approach and ask to hear the poem. So, the event format alone is a good challenge — it’s humbling when people take time out for a poetry reading, but to share poetry in such a direct way will be especially meaningful (hopefully for everyone involved, not just the poets).

And then of course there is the issue of creating a new poem, in response to someone else’s inspired piece of work, and revealing that poem within a matter of weeks. The challenge here does not need much explanation. Especially if you know that I am a happily patient and intentional editor. This will be good practice for me in just “shipping” a poem (a concept worth borrowing from my entrepreneur side).

The piece I chose is Blue Line Swinger. I have a longstanding attraction to dichotomy (it was the bread and butter of my English degree) and curiosity about the relationship between parallel or seemingly disconnected things, so the line running through the piece was pretty seductive to me. I want to know why it’s there, what it means, how it creates worlds on either side, and so on. And with the reading I’ve done on Rauschenberg, I’ve gathered that he had a thing for chance and serendipity, which only further spurs my interest in the line.

I don’t want to say much more than that, because over-explaining poems is bad juju — especially when they aren’t even fully written.

So far a handful of lines have come to me. I thought I’d take cues from Rauschenberg and separate them onto individual index cards to mix them up, similar to his Synapsis Shuffle. The only thing this has shown me so far is that I’m stuck on certain lines going a certain way — to the detriment to the flow of the rest of the poem.

So I’m backing off for today. The poem is still at work in the back of my brain, but the more my conscious hands touch it, the more stubborn I become about certain parts. Here’s to chance and the possibility of more lines presenting themselves as the poem rolls around.

generational generalizing and other matters of worldchanging

Wed, 14 Mar 2012 16:54:18 -0400

I’m lucky to be part of a small group of brilliant women who found each other organically and now regularly theorize about the state of everything over email and sometimes sushi. Yesterday political and leadership mastermind Shannon, a GenXer, sent a link to the this article: 5 ways young professionals want to be led. She asked the millennials among us whether this is on point, and furthermore, why GenXer and Jonesers (those sandwiched between GenX and Boomers) are consistently left out of the conversation.

Dialogue is beginning to ensue. (Thank goodness for Gmail’s threaded conversations.) After spouting off my reaction to the post, I thought I might also share it here for safekeeping and further noodling:

I’m excited for the day when the conversation shifts from generational generalizations to a true sense of urgency and a shared march to a better future for all of us. How utopian of me.

I suppose what I’m saying/asking is: at the end of the day, do these generational quirks and profiles matter if we are not all on the same page about where we are headed and why we are headed there? To say that the problem is that boomers do not understand millennials is to have the conversation in a vacuum, one where the assumption is the world is staying the same and it’s just a matter of a new generation trying to work in it.

In reality, the world is shifting in big ways, and we all need to push it further. This is a world that no one has seen before. The problem may not be so much generationally-related as it is a cultural issue of fear of change, fear of being vulnerable to envision a wildly different future, etc. Yes, these fears may be more pronounced in certain generations or they be more embraced by certain generations, but at the core, everyone is working in a new gray space.

Maybe if we all began with acknowledging that, we’d find more empathy for each other (on a generational level) and give each other the space and permission to explore possibilities (on a society level). And if we started from that place, every generation would inherently be part of the picture.

When you begin with the boxes, the solutions you create will always be boxes. When you start without edges, everything is included and anything is possible.

And that is my sermon for the day. Amen. :)

"When I first started writing poems seriously, I remember longing for that kind of unappeasable need,..."

Tue, 06 Mar 2012 11:48:27 -0500

“When I first started writing poems seriously, I remember longing for that kind of unappeasable need, longing to tap into something capable of causing so much internal unrest I’d have to step aside and let it have its way. I didn’t have my daughter’s sense of purpose, perhaps, or her innocent belief in the veracity of her own need and the determination of the world to serve it. I only knew that I wanted to feel something stirring, churning, coming apart and together. I wanted to say something that threw me off balance, that seemed to erupt from a place I hadn’t learned to stifle.”

- Tracy K. Smith, on Getting to that Untamed, Untrained Place to Write.

There is so much I love about this essay and so much I needed in it.

"Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."

Fri, 02 Mar 2012 17:46:11 -0500

“Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself.”

- Rumi (via heyamberrae)

today i met quantum poetics

Sat, 25 Feb 2012 22:28:00 -0500

This post on the Poetry Foundation’s Harriet blog on quantum poetics has me all riled up (in the best way), and rattling off about it to Carl wasn’t enough, so here I am.

I’ve had a keen sense lately that the different “minds” — scientific, analytic, energetic, poetic, spiritual — are on paths toward each other. And not in the usual “holistic thinking” way. That is nice but falls short. This is about more than the usual awareness and intermingling of disparate ideas.

So often something rooted in science, especially physics and astronomy, sparks questions, ideas, or beliefs that (for me) end up being manipulated via poetics. This is happening more frequently and with greater intensity than before, with an underlying persistence that makes me wonder if these “minds” might eventually crystallize into something wholly distinct. Rather than unlikely couplings illuminating the big picture, could they be the framework of the picture itself?

I hinted at this in my post about emptiness in space… the idea of bringing my poetic mind to what might have traditionally been questions of science. On a recent draft of a poem, I finally gave up on line edits and simply wrote “Learn more astronomy” at the bottom of the page. And not just for the sake of accurate content details… but for the concepts and what they present to poetry, and vice versa.

So tonight I discover this post, and much like finally getting the diagnosis for a funny growth on your arm or an obscure pain in your gut, I had that shiver of, “Oh, they’ve got a name for this!”

Quantum poetics. This is the kind of stuff that makes me want to shut my door and read and write for days and days. This quote in particular (from the essay “Quantum Poetics: Writing the Speed of Light”) makes me giddy:

“If language is not merely descriptive but participates in the formation of physical reality, then poetry might be said to constitute a manipulation of physics, which would redefine poetry as not just a phenomenon of consciousness or an ontological and/or epistemological activity, but also as a clinamatic mutation on physical reality, or what might be thought of as nature.”

So damn fascinating. And so much to learn… it’s one thing to be enamored with the ideas, it’s another to understand and play around with the mechanics. For now, I’m going to keep unpacking it and keep trying to tune in (and perhaps spilling more here when the energy needs a home, especially if it means connecting with others who are exploring similar ideas).

vintage emily: fun with the wayback machine

Fri, 24 Feb 2012 09:44:33 -0500

Inspired by my friend Ashima’s recent finds on the Wayback Machine, I searched for one of the first websites I built. It was 1996 or 1997. I was 12 and obsessed with online zines and AOL message boards. I had created my own zine, which focused on advice for and by kids. It was called Problems & Solutions (so creative), and it was the very vanilla precursor to my edgier zine in high school, which I called “damsel” — lol. I wish I could find the archives of the zines themselves, but this website is still a gem (and the funky characters working as dividers appeared as dots and squares back in the day, for what it’s worth): http://web.archive.org/web/20010725144630/http://members.aol.com/emily28/